Al's Rantings

A view of the world from a hillbilly perspective.

Location: Virginia

I was born and went to school in the heart of the Appalachian mountains, in southern West Virginia. After graduating from college, I got married, and began working in Bristol, TN. I have have various jobs from Tennessee to up state New York and a few points between. Now I work in West Virginia. Some day, I want to live in Alaska.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Off to see the cow...

Michaels must be the arch enemy of Lowe's. Here women can find all they need for the crafts that they do. In a cruel irony, the Home Improvement store can be seen from this parking lot leaving men to think of what could have been. If you look closely at the Home Improvement when the moon is full, you can see Tony Stewart rear ending an unsuspecting driver.

Saturday was a special day. This was the day that there would be an Easter egg hunt at the local (meaning Christiansburg) Chic-Fil-A. And since Little One had not been to a single egg hunt yet, it was our duty to take her. Off we went seeking fame, fortune, and eggs. Sadly, all we found was eggs.

Starting time was 0930 zulu. We arrive in plenty of time to register. Little One signed up for the 3 and under crowd. I looked, but there was no over 40 group...drats! Lucky for us, the 3 and under group went first. Upon the announcement to commence, the rush of people looked like an immigration demonstration in Los Angles, but I counted and it was closer to 10 kids plus assorted parents. Little kids are deceptive...crowds of them look bigger due to the hyper-activity.

Little One had fun and Wifey and I got to eat before we left, so everyone got something. I did come to understand what a strange place we live in. Little One was hunting plactic (maybe recycled) eggs, at a chicken fast food place, that has a cow for a mascot. No wonder our kids are confused!

Of course our trip would not have been complete without a couple more stops. Today we chose Target, Michaels, and Wal Mart. The only place I went in was Target. There I spotted Northern Exposure, Season 4 still for $40. I will continue to wait and pounce when the time is right just like a duck on a June bug.

While cruising around parking lots, I notice the pedistrians and formulated Al's Rules of Pedistrians.

Rule 1: When crossing a busy highway, the shortest distance between two points is a straight line and the goal is to spend a little time as possible on the highway.

Rule 2: When going from car to store door, or vice versa, the shortest distance is a straight line and the goal is to take that straight line even if you must walk in the road for 1/2 mile. Getting out of the road is not permitted and will result in disqualification.

Rule 3: When in doubt, use rule 2.

It makes me believe people may have a phobia about side walks. However, since you are reading this I know you do not have logizomechanophobia (1). Me, I have automatonophobia (2).

1. fear of computers
2. fear of ventriloquist dummies


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